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Gervase

Joined: 17 Nov 2004
Posts: 8655

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 7:08 am Post subject:
I think we need a photograph of lots of unnecessary knives and axes before we can even think of that!

Jonnyboy

Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 23956
Location: under some rain.

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 7:17 am Post subject:
question a) are you posting this from underground/your mums house? question b) Do you have a poster of sylvester stallone on your wall? question 3) when you go to sainsburys how many knives do you have on you? (choose from 2,4 or 7)

sean
Downsizer Moderator

Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 42219
Location: North Devon

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 7:26 am Post subject:
Surely the answer to question 3 is: None, I'm going to take them all down with my sniper's rifle from a position of concealment.

Jonnyboy

Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 23956
Location: under some rain.

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 7:28 am Post subject:
T'was a trick question.

Brownbear

Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 14929
Location: South West

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 7:45 am Post subject:
I don't think this topic is in the best of taste.

MarkS

Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2626

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 8:01 pm Post subject:

fair enough.

I went with a less technical bent in the end, should not offend anyone. But thanks v.much for all the info - I may well use it elsewhere

The door opened a crack. A revolver appeared and an outstretched arm.

The fingers flexed gently, the revolver settling in the hand. The ormolu clock on the mantle began to chime.

M.Balinozov, director of the department of state industry continued reading. The reported output of the third ukranian stakhanite hero of the republic iron mine seemed inconsistent with the ore delivery at Kurkusk.

As the third stroke chimed the hammer of the revolver drew back, the knuckle whitening with strain.

Steam rose gently from a fine dresden teacup.

As the fourth stroke rang out M. Balinozov turned the page. Agents reported unrest at all stages from the mine to the port. Or so the security service chose to inform him.

The hand trembled slightly and then steadied.

fifth stroke.

Other agents reported interference in lading from the state security department.

M.Balinozov did not hear the click as the hammer fell.

The remaining chimes were accompanied by no similar excitements. The revolver withdrew as noon completed its annunciation.

Eighteen minutes later an aide retrieved a tattered tarot card from the doorway of the office.

SheepShed

Joined: 08 Nov 2006
Posts: 332
Location: In the middle of a Welsh forest

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 8:08 pm Post subject:

MarkS wrote:

M.Balinozov did not hear the click as the hammer fell.

Ah, so the revolver was just a red herring - he actually bashed him over the head with a hammer

KILLITnGRILLIT

Joined: 14 Sep 2006
Posts: 894
Location: Looking at a screen in the front room

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 8:12 pm Post subject:

MarkS wrote:

...... the knuckle whitening with strain........The hand trembled slightly and then steadied.

Critique, not if you want to hit the auld fella !

MarkS

Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2626

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 8:24 pm Post subject:

KILLITnGRILLIT wrote:

MarkS wrote:

...... the knuckle whitening with strain........The hand trembled slightly and then steadied.

Critique, not if you want to hit the auld fella !

Everyone's a critic

We go on to a sequence of 'hits' with the russian roulette theme - note it doesn't actually say that the gun fires.

Seriously though, I do appreciate the answers from everyone.

(although anybody with a Tom Lehrer sig cant really pass judgement)

MarkS

Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2626

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 8:29 pm Post subject:

Took me a minute to find the lyrics - although I seem to remember that all 'cow ' references should be pure-bred gurnsey

Almost every day during the hunting season you see at least one item in the newspapers about somebody who has shot somebody else, under the impression that he was a deer with a red hat perhaps, maybe a large flesh-colored squirrel. at any rate, it seems to me that this marks an encouraging new trend in the field of blood sports, and deserves a new type of hunting song which I present herewith

I always will remember
'Twas a year ago november
I went out to hunt some deer
On a mornin' bright and clear
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow

I was in no mood to trifle
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey
What a haul I made that day
I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow
Instant Song Lyrics
The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit
The worst punishment I ever endured
It turned out there was a reason
Cows were out of season
And one of the hunters wasn't insured

People ask me how I do it
And I say, "there's nothin' to it
You just stand there lookin' cute
And when something moves, you shoot!"
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred guernsey cow

sean
Downsizer Moderator

Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 42219
Location: North Devon

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 8:40 pm Post subject:

MarkS wrote:

Took me a minute to find the lyrics - although I seem to remember that all 'cow ' references should be pure-bred gurnsey

Depends on whether it's the live or studio version.

KILLITnGRILLIT

Joined: 14 Sep 2006
Posts: 894
Location: Looking at a screen in the front room

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 10:02 pm Post subject:
M.Balinozov did not hear the click as the hammer fell. Must be mutton then................................ I SAID HE MUST BE MUTTON !!

Jb

Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 7761
Location: 91� N

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 07 11:28 pm Post subject: Re: quick pistol questions

MarkS wrote:

If one were to be looking to cull a politician, using a revolver and silencer/suppressor what would be the optimum weapon? Why?

Easy. Just tell the local rags that you local politician was found with a revolver and silencer. Has the advantage that you can't be prosecuted, you don't even need to spend any money on a weapon and as owning anything more offensive than a video of Simon Cowell criticising someone will have you transported to the colonies for life there's no need to do anything more.

MarkS

Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2626

Posted: Sat Oct 06, 07 6:44 am Post subject:

KILLITnGRILLIT wrote:

**M.Balinozov did not hear the click as the hammer fell. **

Must be mutton then................................ I SAID HE MUST BE MUTTON !!

Oh.

Loud then?

rethink needed.

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