My allotment

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Mistress Rose

Joined: 21 Jul 2011
Posts: 15966

Posted: Tue May 19, 20 7:05 am Post subject:

Activating a child of that age can be tricky. Try giving her a bit of the allotment to have as her own, finding jobs she enjoys and giving her them, even if she doesn't do them very well, or get her to deal with a particular crop from sowing to eating. Any of those might work, but might not; each ten-ager is different. The plus is that she sees growing food as normal, and later in life will probably take to it herself. Our son is 40 and has just got a garden, so is starting to grow things; he had some spare onion sets from me, and I will hand on my spare cabbages. As a child, he liked 'mining' potatoes, which meant going over the bed again to get the ones he missed, but at least he got some interest in gardening.

wellington womble

Joined: 08 Nov 2004
Posts: 15051
Location: East Midlands

Posted: Wed May 20, 20 8:10 am Post subject:

Done all that, and more. Bizarrely, she was quite happy to go up and shovel compost in the cold, but now it’s a case of planting pumpkins and a bit of weeding in the sunshine, she’s a nightmare to motivate. She’s ok for a bit while we are up there, but then she’s a pita! Normally I would go while she was at school, and in a year or two she will be old enough to be left alone (and up until not long ago, I would simply have picked her up and strapped her into the car, like it or not!)

It doesn’t help that there is no water, and things aren’t growing very well. We need rain so badly.

Nick

Joined: 02 Nov 2004
Posts: 34535
Location: Hereford

Posted: Wed May 20, 20 8:20 am Post subject:
Bonfire. Always kept me entertained for hours on the plot when I visited my grandma. She managed to be productive; I learnt all manner of bad things.

gz

Joined: 23 Jan 2009
Posts: 8916
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland

Posted: Wed May 20, 20 9:12 am Post subject:
That is what grandmas are for

dpack

Joined: 02 Jul 2005
Posts: 46207
Location: yes

Posted: Wed May 20, 20 10:30 am Post subject:

Nick wrote:

Bonfire. Always kept me entertained for hours on the plot when I visited my grandma. She managed to be productive; I learnt all manner of bad things.

did we share a grannie?

wellington womble

Joined: 08 Nov 2004
Posts: 15051
Location: East Midlands

Posted: Wed May 20, 20 1:03 pm Post subject:
Done that as well. She can light one independently with a flint and steel, now!

Mistress Rose

Joined: 21 Jul 2011
Posts: 15966

Posted: Thu May 21, 20 6:46 am Post subject:

A dislike of weeding I can understand. It was the job my father always gave me to do, and almost put me off gardening. Planting out I would have thought might motivate her a bit more.

There are two alternatives I can see depending on what she is like; either order her to get on with it and come the heavy mother, or ask her very nicely, explaining why you need the help and how much you appreciate it and enjoy her company. At that age and for a few more years, you might have to try either depending on her mood on the day. Ten-early teenagers can be a proper pain. The good thing is that most of them grow out of it.

Our son was a real pain during his early teenage years as he was rather defeatist and if he had trouble with his homework was inclined to give up. It didn't help that I went down with ME badly, but he was very good helping me when I couldn't cope, so on some things he had his good points. Glad to say he grew out of it.

wellington womble

Joined: 08 Nov 2004
Posts: 15051
Location: East Midlands

Posted: Fri May 22, 20 5:07 pm Post subject:

She really, really hates any sort of transition from one thing to another, its a nightmare to get her started on anything! I've got her set up with a tent and a blanket so on, so she can help a bit and chill a bit, and she is generally happy to get on with weeding some of the problem weeds and is completely responsible for the strawbs. She'll usually wander around doing bits and pieces to other beds happily too, once we're up there, providing we only stay up for an hour or two. But getting her to actually leave the house is like pulling teeth!

Slim

Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Posts: 6612
Location: New England (In the US of A)

Posted: Fri May 22, 20 5:14 pm Post subject:
She needs someone there who's not mom. Any other adults at the allotment that can be vocal about how impressive she is for helping you?

Mistress Rose

Joined: 21 Jul 2011
Posts: 15966

Posted: Sat May 23, 20 6:04 am Post subject:
Yes, I think at that age it is actually getting them activated that is the problem. Perhaps when you get to the stage of harvesting the strawberries, that may activate her a little. I hope so anyway. As Slim says; anyone, adult or child up there she might like to go and meet?

wellington womble

Joined: 08 Nov 2004
Posts: 15051
Location: East Midlands

Posted: Sat May 23, 20 8:22 pm Post subject:

Slim wrote:

She needs someone there who's not mom.
Any other adults at the allotment that can be vocal about how impressive she is for helping you?

In passing, I might see if I can prime some. We tend to be up there weekdays, and most go up at weekends. It’s just the way she is, and sheets has been. She’ll be back at school in September in some form, and I’ll have more breathing space then.

gil
Downsizer Moderator

Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 18415

Posted: Sun May 24, 20 6:52 pm Post subject:
That all looks great - congrats, and hopefully you'll soon be seeing a return on all your hard work.

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