What's the best way to pot a Chav?

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What's the best way to pot a Chav?

Downsizer Forum Index -> Shooting and Trapping for the Pot

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Tittch

Joined: 17 Feb 2006
Posts: 1768
Location: Chichester

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 06 5:50 pm Post subject: What's the best way to pot a Chav?
I get a whole pack of prime buck Chavs hanging around outside the front of my house, making a nuisance with their noisy mating and courtship rituals, trying to attract roe Chavs. I wonder what gear I should use in order to bag one for the pot? Also which would taste better a roe or a buck? Any suggestions?

mark

Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 2191
Location: Leeds

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 06 5:58 pm Post subject:
why not try selling them mooncups to give to their girlfriends! or asking them how many of them are closet nudists! or how to fix your pc? I'm sure all three approaches will have them in rapid retreat mark

Tittch

Joined: 17 Feb 2006
Posts: 1768
Location: Chichester

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 06 6:13 pm Post subject:

mark wrote:

why not try selling them mooncups to give to their girlfriends!
or asking them how many of them are closet nudists!
or how to fix your pc?

I'm sure all three approaches will have them in rapid retreat

mark

Are you my stalker?

Treacodactyl
Downsizer Moderator

Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 25795
Location: Jumping on the bandwagon of opportunism

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 06 7:06 pm Post subject: Re: What's the best way to pot a Chav?

Tittch wrote:

I wonder what gear I should use in order to bag one for the pot?

Ah, a common mistake. Chavs are like snails, full of unpleasant things that first need to be *purged*. Snails only take a week with lettuce leaves but a buck Chav will take far, far longer on a diet of *Evian* and mixed *salad* leaves. After about a month they should be ready. There was a good recipe in the Daily Mail a while back, suggested hanging them for a few weeks first. Don't forget that you can't serve a fine wine but some thing called 'barcardi breezer' I think.

TD.

mark

Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 2191
Location: Leeds

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 06 7:13 pm Post subject:

Tittch wrote:

Are you my stalker?

only if you are very very lucky

Rob R

Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 31902
Location: York

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 06 8:14 pm Post subject:
What the hell is a chav?

Bugs

Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 10744

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 06 8:18 pm Post subject:

Rob R wrote:

What the hell is a chav?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav

mark

Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 2191
Location: Leeds

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 06 8:18 pm Post subject:

Rob R wrote:

What the hell is a chav?

see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav or https://www.chavscum.co.uk/[/url]

Rob R

Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 31902
Location: York

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 06 8:21 pm Post subject:
Ahh, at least that's a label you can use in polite company

Mad Dad

Joined: 12 May 2005
Posts: 407
Location: Nowhere near where I want to be

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 06 11:58 pm Post subject:
My son dresses like a Chav but thankfully he doesn't do the rest of the stuff.......How do I know I hear you ask.....highflier at school and He hardly ever goes out (but I wish he would) and if he does it is usually to girlfriend/mates house.

Tittch

Joined: 17 Feb 2006
Posts: 1768
Location: Chichester

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 06 5:51 pm Post subject: Re: What's the best way to pot a Chav?

Treacodactyl wrote:

Tittch wrote:

I wonder what gear I should use in order to bag one for the pot?

Ooh that sounds really good. Do you think that Scottish Highland water would be a suitable substitute for Evian? There are one or two that look like if they were separated from the pack they would be easy to pick off...

wishus

Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Posts: 777
Location: Northampton, East Midlands

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 06 11:19 pm Post subject: Re: What's the best way to pot a Chav?

Tittch wrote:

I wonder what gear I should use in order to bag one for the pot?

Burberry camouflage!

Mrs Fiddlesticks

Joined: 02 Nov 2004
Posts: 10460

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 06 8:32 am Post subject:
can you be sure of their provenance though, free range they may be ( otherwise they'd not be outside your house) but I prefer my supper with out excess hormones!! ( and acne cream, dubious aftershave and fake tan)

cab

Joined: 01 Nov 2004
Posts: 32429

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 06 9:21 am Post subject:
Contact poison on heavy gold jewellry left in plain view? That ought to do. 'Course then you've got to salt them for a while to get the poison out, making a 'chav bacon' which is almost as nasty as 'turkey ham'.

Gervase

Joined: 17 Nov 2004
Posts: 8655

Posted: Mon Feb 27, 06 4:41 pm Post subject:

I wouldn't eat one - I've seen what goes into 'em. Yuk!
I used to work with a couple and would give them a lift to and from the foundry every day. They were stuffed so full of pills that they rattled like Smartie tubes every time we went round a corner. Friday afternoons were the worst, as they's start shovelling the stuff down during the afternoon tea break, so that by the time they hit the weekend they were already flying on a mix of speed, viagra and temazepam.
Bless 'em!

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